What a brutal weekend. Big thanks to my brothers who made the long haul from the Bay Area to help me throw up a patio roof. Sadly, both my Niners and Raiders blew close games this week and my beloved Texas Longhorns didn't do anything but run into a kitchen tool. Coach Hargus "Pig" Hughes shed more than one tear this weekend as the strains of Boomer Sooners rang out over the Cotton Bowl. Since the weekend was a total disaster from a sporting point of view let me jump right back into our bread and butter..
We're into another week here at WKWR so lets go straight to the mailbag where we answer this weeks question. This week the mailbag included a missive from Russ in Reno who asks:
"Dear Smilin' Paul
Although none are fit for the job, which of the remaining nine Democrats would
do the least damage to this great country as President of the United States?"
Russ in Reno
Of course the right answer is none of 'em. But around here I always provide a little something in the way of explanation for my opinion. Sometimes it even makes sense. One of the problems confronting the democrats right now is that they have more candidates for president than hookers at an Elks Convention. Not all of them are qualified to be president whether because of their work experience, past practice or mental acuity, (which is a nice way of saying that at least a couple of the candidates are just plain psycho.) In my humble opinion, the nine remaining candidates are also disqualified for what can only be described as their hatred for the America we know or by corrupt or seditious behavior.
"Crazy Al" Sharpton, race baiting huckster and con man extraordinaire. At least he doesn't portray himself as anything else. "Crazy" Al doesn't stand a snowballs' chance in hell of winning the election because Americans will instinctively know that this man isn't qualified to run a used car dealership. Do you really want to put him in charge of the federal budget? You'll see armored government SUVs chopped, decked and lowered with gold trim and loaded with 40's driving the streets of Harlem. Courtesy of the American taxpayer.
Carol Moseley Brown. This corrupt wonder, who even the voters of Illinois couldn't stomach for a second term has no business being president of the Junior League much less of the United States. Drummed out of office after one term in the Senate, IMPEACHED ex-President Clinton, pandering to the black vote, appointed her ambassador to New Zealand. At least down there she would have a hard time damaging our foreign interests unless of course the Strategic Reserve of Kiwi fruit had dwindled. Her famous quote this last week was that "Men had ruined the country and it was time for a woman to fix it." Riiiight...sorry Carol I forgot how Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt had ruined the country....another thing I didn't learn in school. (Amazing considering the left leaning inclinations of most teachers these days..)
Wesley Clark. Or Ashley as he is fondly known here. How the hell do you take a man who claims he isn't really a military man even though he spent thirty odd years in uniform serving the country? I guess he is ashamed of his service. Besides which, democrats are hailing him as a saviour for the party. Because democrats realize that they have strayed and become too beholden to leftist special interests and they no longer resonate with the average American voter. The problem there is that Ashley Clark is no Dwight Eisenhower. Bosnia was not the Invasion of Europe and his own peers are claiming that he had ethical issues. Of course he's from Arkansas and was a Rhodes Scholar. Anyone else see any parallels here? Lastly his famous statement about being a Republican if Karl Rove had only returned his calls is yet more evidence that like most democrats, he is a naked opportunist.
John Edwards. What do you say about a filthy rich trial attorney who sees himself as presidential timber after only 4 yrs in the Senate? Fortunately for Americans it takes more than good hair and teeth to win the presidency. (JFK being an exception but then that was the beginning of the TV age, we're more jaded now.) Anyone else find it suspicious that much of his campaign donations were obtained from paralegals working at firms where he had partners who were donors? We all know those fabulously wealthy paralegals line up to give away campaign contributions. Nope, Edwards is done since he can't even poll well in his own North Carolina. Here is a southerner who can't carry his own state. Did the democrats learn anything in 2000? We'll see.
Next up is John Kerry. This poor bastard has a double whammy misfortune. He looks french and he's from the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts which means he's only slightly right of Leonid Brezhnev. Kerry opines that he's a Vietnam War Hero which means he brings it up at every opportunity. Unfortunately for him, his post war behavior has been largely excreble which means he hasn't been getting too many speaking gigs with the VFW. Kerry wants to raise taxes and thinks abortion on demand is a good idea. These aren't exactly ideas which are going to carry Georgia or Mississippi. Stick a fork in him, he's done.
Dick Gephardt. Vanilla. In a democrat race with almost 32 candidates to choose from, boring are the people who vote for vanilla. Gephardt's claim to fame is that he is the failed antecedent to Nancy "Stretch Tite" Pelosi and he also holds the Guiness World Record for jumping into bed with the most union bosses. Gephardt doesn't stand a chance because he doesn't poll well in his neighboring Iowa and Americans will never elect a president who doesn't have eyebrows.
Dennis Kucinich. The Singin' Mayor. Kind of like some commie ballerina at the Boshoi. Kucinich actually makes french looking John Kerry look like a moderate but he is such a diminutive wacko that one wonders what possesses this mope to think he can be president. I'll give him one thing, he does resemble a president of a math club. Of course that was the same guy who got shoved into lockers in high school. Kucinich is such a long shot, he doesn't even rate a line at Harrahs.
Joe Lieberman, the so-called "conscience" of the Senate. A nickname he earned for rebuking loathsome IMPEACHED ex-president Clinton during the impeachment hearings. Lieberman stands apart from the rest of the dems because he actually favors the War on Terror and our actions in Iraq. What makes him a democrat? Liebermans' lack of principle when he accepted Gores invitation to run as his vice presidential candidate despite a number of policy disagreements with Gore. Then there is the matter of his accepting huge campaign contributions from Hollywood pinkos while heaping abuse on the film industry. He may have been right about Hollywoods' excesses but to turn around and accept their money makes him a hypocrite. Lieberman stated this week that he wants to raise taxes on the rich. His idea of rich? If you make over $200K a year in your household. While I'm not quite in that rareified air, I'd hardly call that rich. I call that a bunch of Republicans. Lieberman can't win because he puts people to sleep when he talks and Americans can't abide someone with a combover and sideburns as president.
That brings us to Howie "Nikita" Dean. Former Governor of Ben and Jerry's. A man who has shown that he can raise millions from brain dead internet surfers who worry more about where their next doobie is coming from while suffering angst over the living conditions of lab rats. Howie Dean plays a credible angry white male but he's angry at all the wrong things which explains why he always looks like he's about 1 Singapore Sling away from snapping. Dean's claim to fame of course is that he wants to legalize gay marriage and raise taxes. Check, those values sure are going to carry South Carolina and Texas. Dean has done an admirable job of galvanizing the far left nuts who are the rudder of the modern democrat party. When Dean get's beaten, I hope we can at least get a copy of his supporter list so we'll know exactly where to look for the suspects the next time a Hummer dealership gets torched.
So Russ in Reno, if I have to make a call right now, I'd say that Howie "Nikita" Dean wins this deal and then Republicans enjoy a huuuuuuge victory next November. I know I'm getting my scotch and cigars ready for a joyous election day. The democrats are simply too beholden to unions, trial lawyers and other special interest groups that no longer resonate with middle America. I hope they don't figure this out before next November and that in the meantime, we can enjoy the comedy provided by these presidential wannabees.
As always I stand ready to answer any of your questions so keep them coming. Remember, I'm only here to shed light on the right.....
Smilin' Paul Villa U.S. Senate 2004
Proud Member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and 2 SUV Family