Nothing Left, to Say...

Where We Shed Light on the Right, We respect governance by the 2C's, Common Sense and the Constitution, where we never have anything say...We are also the home of the (almost) weekly Rant and Recipe...

Monday, May 15, 2006

They call this Big Sky Country and never was it more apparent to me than Sat. night. Out walking the dog around the neighborhood under an absolutely clear sky and a canopy of a billion stars. With a big moon shining down from that indigo sky with the blending of purples, dark blues and blacks and the pink glow of the neon from Reno and the sunset out to the southwest. Groovin' to a little Johnny Bush and Justin Trevino and Amber Digby on ye olde iPod. In other words a beautiful night where a man can stare at the stars and contemplate life it's ownself. A night not even a democrat could ruin.

Speaking of nocturnal activities, I'm sitting here watching Foxnews and I see that the DOW is taking a dump today. Between the Iranian nutcase President and the waning fortunes of the Kennedy clan, I'm taking a financial beating. Of course anyone who drives is getting beat up by the Persian Psycho. The rest of y'all are probably wondering how a staunch conservative such as myself could have his financial fortunes tied to the notoriously liberal Kennedy clan. Well lemme explain, like any good conservative I stand ready to capitalize on opportunity, after all conservatives are optimists and forever looking at the glass half full and in this matter, glasses have a lot to do with it.

Seems a few weeks back I had occasion to find myself in my stockbrokers' office with a few thousand to invest. After talking over several stocks with him, I told him to buy shares of Diageo Inc. a multinational purveyor of fine spirits. I figured what the hell, I already own Defense stocks, (Boeing): Oil stocks, (Ultra) and Real Estate (Scudder Reef) what better way to confirm my status with liberals everywhere as a true Republican pig than to invest in some hooch. Besides I figured as long as there's a Kennedy clan, I should do pretty well with a booze company. Then comes Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I. proving the adage that the apple don't fall far from the tree.

Seems young Patrick ran into a police road block on Capitol Hill while telling officers that he was late for a 0245 hrs. Boy those congresscritters put in some long hours. My personal speculation is that in an attempt to memorialize the Teddy Kennedy Triathlon of drink, swim and run, young Patrick took the wrong turn. Instead of driving his car into the Potomac, he hung a left and hit Capitol Hill instead. Technically he only completed 1/3 of the Triathlon missing out on the swimming and running only due to his own inability to follow Triathlon instructions and police intervention. Of course we could create a new triathlon for young Patrick. How about drink, drive and obfuscate? How many different stories did he concoct to explain his behavior that night? Let's see, there was sleeping pills, then it was pain medication, then it was a mixture, then maybe he'd had a nip or two and finally he states he has a problem. (Like Lay's Potato Chips, I'll bet no Kennedy can have just one belt of hooch..)

Anyways it was that certainty that as long as there were livers in the People's Republic of Massachusetts that belonged to Kennedy's, hooch would be consumed, that led me to invest in booze. Now of course with Patrick Kennedy on his way to rehab I look for a dip in alcohol consumption. This in turn leads me to ask for help from you my loyal readers. Help to ensure my financial solvency and to keep at bay the socialist hordes who hate America, hate capitalism and most of all, who hate my pocketbook. I know that this is a man's job but I don't care what your gender is if you can help me out by pitching in to prevent a world alcohol glut. I need you all to increase your consumption by just at least one more drink a day. If we all work together, we can make up for the shortfall caused by a Kennedy falling back on the wagon. This may be the hardest duty I have ever asked of you all, some of you will embrace the challenge and others will shrink in cowardice at the daunting task before them. Like Henry the V's men at Agincourt, or Nelson's at Trafalgar, we all must recognize our duty and turn to. For everyone's convenience, I have listed below some of the major brands that Diageo markets. By drinking them, you help me and help to eradicate the menace of encroaching socialism...Like England, I expect that every man and woman will do their duty...

Cragganmore, Dalwhinnie, Glenkinchie, Lagavulin, Oban and Talisker
Johnnie Walker, J&B, Jose Cuervo, Captain Morgan's Rum, Archers, Pimm's and Tanqueray
Bailey's Irish Cream, Smirnoff, Gordons, Gilbey's and for you beer drinkers, Harp's
Carlsberg, Guiness and Smithwick's and even Budweiser.

Smilin' Paul Villa U.S. Senate 2010
cyber-Congressman, R-Reno
Proud Member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and 2 SUV Family


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